Many years ago a wise man gave me several tips on how to make a relationship last. They sadly did not work out for my marriage. However, now that I am older I fully understand how couples tend to overlook the simple rules while they get caught up in the day-to-day routines or mourn the loss of a fantasy romance and happily ever.
- Communication. Never go to bed angry. Even if you agree that it’s not the right time to discuss something because you are angry at least it’s better to each know that. And don’t let it go longer than a day before discussing. Once time has passed what you were angry about may seem trivial to discuss but talk anyway. If you don’t it will come back to you later.
- Don’t cheat on them. Have enough respect for the person that if you want out, you tell them. Pretty self-explanatory. It is better to hurt someone by being honest that you want out, than to leave them with feelings of betrayal, disloyalty, and mistrust. They will get over the hurt and sadness easier, but the others they will carry for life.
- Kiss each other good morning, good night, goodbye, and hello so you never have that regret that you didn’t. In day-to-day life, you never know what will happen when you walk out the door. Let the memory of someone always be that they are loved.
- And if you are going to be out late, let them know. That is a biggie. If you are expected at home and don’t show. Fear something has happened can manifest into anger pretty quickly and the relief you show can be perceived as controlling.
So do they work and are they simple?
They are simple in the sense that they are so basic. Communication, Respect, Appreciation, and Affection. Sounds easy. But they require commitment. That is the key. Why do older and wiser couples stay together? Why are some of my high school friends still happily married to childhood sweethearts, while others stayed together for years, only to divorce when the kids were older. The key is a commitment to both individuals, along with these 4 simple rules.