As I start this post I don’t really have a title for it. But hey, random thoughts dont always need one. The other night before bed, after a crap day, I was reading thru Facebook posts of friends. One of my friends in Texas is a Marathon runner, who has run all over the world. She has also beaten breast cancer and since we …
Carleton
I was driving And I saw a man. Not just any man, but a man who looked like my friend Carl. He had the right shades, right hair, and the right Carhart jacket. I wanted to pull my car over and run up and hug him. Instead, I pulled over on the side of the road and cried. I cried so hard, for I wished …
Get Over It
Today I laughed. I laughed because someone had said something funny. The person I was talking to, said to me; “Wow, it’s good to see you laughing. Glad you are over it”. I stopped laughing and looked at her. In my head, I wanted to scream “WTF? That was a horrible thing to say.” What she was referring to as “it” was the death …
A Talk With God
Today I stepped into the sun, And gazed upon the sky. I asked my God, one single word, I asked my God, why? I waited and I listened, I wanted his reply. I waited, staring at the sun, While tears flooded my eyes. My child, he said, With all his somber grace. My child the world turned ugly, I took them to another place. …
Hope
Cheryl, I had the honor of photographing your sweet Mariana today. At first, I felt guilty and melancholic for I would get to do what was taken from you. For I would hold her in my arms and gaze upon her face. Pictures were wrapped up and we were getting ready to leave. Mariana, who had stayed awake throughout, was sleeping peacefully. My man …
6 Degrees Of Separation
6 Degrees of Separation is the idea that any one person on the planet is connected to another by 6 or fewer social connections. A couple of days ago, we met with a childhood friend of David’s and we were asked how we first met. Telling people we met at a funeral is technically the right answer, it isn’t the right one. How we …
Grief
“Are you ok”? I may tell you, yes, but inside I am screaming in agony. I am trying to get through a day without letting on to the world the pain I feel. Life, plans, daily routine, have come to a screeching halt. I may be going about the motions of work, conversation, daily needs but I am not ok. I am trying to …
No Words
Several months ago I started a blog post entitled “When Your Bestie Says It’s Going to Hurt!” The story behind it was a phone call I received one afternoon at work from my best friend. It went like this: “instead of a walk at lunch, how about you get out early, I made us an appointment”. I replied, sure. That was my first mistake. …
Concussion
My chiropractor is starting a brain injury clinic and asked me to share my story with others. She sent me the following questions: How would you describe yourself? Are you a ____? (ex: mom, retire, businesswoman, etc) How do you refer to yourself having a previous concussion? “Marilee Curran is a writer with a fighting spirit. One who tries to balance her life through …
Judge Not For Yee Shall Be Judged
The only guarantee in life is that eventually, you will die. Recently I was told that someone I love very much was upset that I have not gotten the vaccine. My heart was broken to confirm that people who have known me my whole life, are afraid to be near me. It’s deeper than that, for my children are staying away as well. I …
Veterans Day
The 11th Hour of the 11th Day of the 11th Month I could think of no better place to honor our Veterans and the memory of my grandfather who passed away 48 years ago today. He was an Army Veteran of WWII. This morning I re-read the letters my great aunt had preserved and my cousin passed on to me, that he wrote while …
9/11 Remembrance – Little Boy Lost
For the past 20 years, a photo has sat on my desk at work This photo is not spectacular, or remarkable. It is a photo taken by a 10-year-old boy on the ferry in NY heading out to Ellis Island. It was shot with a disposable camera, it is fading, but it is a memory embedded in my mind. The photo is of the …
The Path
Don’t focus on how far you have to go, focus on how far you have come, and then keep going – unknown What is Occipital Neuralgia? That was my question to the Neurologist. I had never heard of this condition, nor did I realize in February just how much it was going to impact my life. The official definition given by the American Association …
You Don’t Need To Change The World
Music is one of the most powerful forces in the universe for inspiring emotions. Driving home one night, the song “Now and Forever” by Carole King came on the radio. I was flooded with so many beautiful memories of my days working at Douglas St. Group home. On a cold, snowy day in March 1989, I accepted a call for an interview. I had …
Butterflies and Bees
Yesterday I took a walk on campus during lunchtime. In the peacefulness of the grounds, surrounded by apple trees, butterflies, and bumblebees, it is easy to forget the ugly history of the campus and what lies beneath its grounds. The world has always struggled with how to treat those whose minds have betrayed them. The true mentally ill are often as locked away from …
Twin Flame
David gave me another challenge. Pick the 1 photo that I took to summarize our 1 year together. This may seem like a simple task, but unfortunately, I can’t do it. We have had so many adventures this past year, that I have captured, I just can’t pick one. He on the other hand probably has designed an entire portfolio. Therefore, I decided to …
Today I Walked Among Them
Today I walked among them. Standing in rows and columns, spaced precisely apart. Straight at attention, in death, as they were in life. Twice a day for the past 7.5 years I have passed them. They silently peer out at me as I drive by. Surrounded by flowers and flags, as neatly spaced as they are. They are warmed by the heat of the …
The Unforgotten Soldier
All Gave Some, Some Gave All. You Are Not Forgotten. 70 years ago today a 19-year-old medic, named Clarence, went missing during the May Massacre in Kungwong So Korea. My mother had just turned 5 years old and was waiting for her uncle to come home to celebrate her birthday as he had promised. Instead, in Middlebury, Vt an empty casket lays in a …
What A Mother Wants
What does Mom want for Mother’s Day? It’s Mother’s Day and the question comes up, what to get mom for Mother’s Day. The answer is so simple and often overlooked. I am your mom. I don’t want trinkets, cards or flowers, although always appreciated. I don’t need to spend a day to myself in a spa, nor do I need you to make special …
Behind The Lens
Never underestimate a woman who loves a photographer, and was born in October. In actuality, the tee-shirt that appeared in the Facebook ad said photography, not a photographer. I saw the latter. They should have only added wine in their algorithm I would be fully convinced Facebook is listening. Yes, I am in love with a photographer who is teaching me to love photography. However, I am …
Ode To My Brother (From the same Mother. And Father)
“You’ve got to be kidding”, You said to our mother. “You brought home a sister, I wanted a brother”! For months you would tell, Everyone you did see. This is my sister, Her name’s Timothy. Eventually, you warmed up, And the name it did change. However what you called me, Depended on the exchange. You taught me well dear brother. Unconditional love, Is often …